Ready to blow who?

Apparently, George W. Bush, who fights crime in his superhero persona The Decider, was just so mad over Stephen Colbert's WHCD evisceration of both him and the media that, according to an article by Paul Bedard on US News and World Reports, "He's ready to blow."

Well, he's blown for the last six years, really, so this is nothing knew. Still, I'm not sure if Colbert's patriotic act will be big enough for Bush to somehow twist into justification for invading Iran. However, I'm sure the CIA will shortly manage to produce evidence that not only is Colbert helping the Iranians build nuclear weapons, he's also teaching them how to hide their WMD stockpiles so effectively that, three years after an invasion, they still can't be found.

You know, I've never been comfortable with the idea of roasts. It seems to me that, if you truly respect a person, the best way to convey that respect isn't to tell a group of peers that their penis is so small a female flea would question if it's in yet. I understand it, in a sense, that respect is earned and roasts are a way to show that the person being roasted has survived in a business that is both cruel and uncaring at the same time. Still, it just seems mean to me, and it's supposed to be, but mean in a loving way, like kissing your wife with your belt.

That's perhaps the problem with Colbert, though. He gave a roast but no one expected to be roasted. At most, everyone was ready for yet another evening of ego felating in the ivory tower that is Washington. Colbert, however, bit it off and this caused some surprise.

Of course, there was the surprise that he was actually doing it. More to the point, though, people new they didn't deserve a roast. Let me be clear, they didn't deserve a roast because they hadn't earned it. It's a fine line and they were aware they were on the wrong side of it. Instead of being able to laugh at himself, The Decider, in the spirit of the dry drunk, got angry because what was being said was true. The media has dismissed Colbert as unfunny, trying to pathetically spin the fact that once again they were skewered by some guy from Comedy Central.

They're right, in a way, though. It wasn't funny. It was just sad, sad that journalism in this country had fallen so far. A friend asked me, "Isn't it great how only Stewart and Colbert have the balls journalists are supposed to have?" I thought about it a whole moment before I said, "No, it's depressing and upsetting."

Still, I have to say that while the media and the blogosphere fight about Colbert's success, eveyone's missing the truly amazing story: Bush actually understood that he was the butt of the joke. Up till now, I had thought the subtle arts of parody and satire were beyond his ken. Maybe he's not as dumb as I thought he was? Don't get me wrong, he's still dumb, just not, "tape yourself having sex" dumb.

Thank God Stephen Colbert is coming up in the world...

because Janeane Garofalo apparently can't go down on Tom Cruise and Scientology fast enough.

The New York Rescue Workers Detoxification Project...Let Go, Let Xenu.

Frankly, the fun of Janeane wore off for me awhile ago. There are much more astute and interesting left-wing commentators. However, when a noted pundit makes such an abrupt and unexpected 180, it always gives one pause.

Don't get me wrong. It's a very noble and necessary thing, to develop programs to help firemen and rescue workers who have been ill since 9/11. However, the NYRWDP is sort of like having Fred Phelps run an AIDS prevention program. Or, rather, asking Jack Abramoff to oversee a commission on lobby reform.

NYRWPD is little more than a front for Scientology to get government money for proselytization. There's a nice little "follow the links" article at Cult News that traces the connections. If you need any more proof, that is, other than a gushing Leah Remini, "Actress" and Scientology drone, who was basically given an open pulpit on Garofalo's show, "Majority Report".

So, wtf, Janeane? Not only are you endorsing an organization with clear ties to one of the most encompassing religious hoaxes of our times, but you are also throwing your valued rational thinking out the window by complementing a medical program that experts say has absolutely no scientific proof of success and may in fact be harmful. Maybe we can just chalk this one up to the madness that possessed New York upon the visit of Scientology scion, Tom Cruise. Maybe you'll get back to your usual critical thinking and examination of issues rather than turning your program into an infomercial for the people fighting against the spirits of dead space aliens.

Or maybe you've finally cracked under the weight of your own cynicism and we'll be reading in The Times about how you had to be pulled from your apartment, your hair a badly colored blonde, screaming about how Ann Coulter is sex on a stick and Rush Limbaugh was framed.

I have a new hero...well, a bit of a crush, actually.

First, he was part of the creative team that gave us "Strangers With Candy". Now, from the pulpit of the WHCD, he has proven that he has the biggest set of brass balls in the country at the moment. Ladies and Gentlemen: Stephen Colbert

http://thankyoustephencolbert.org/