The Definition of Irony

Simon Cowell accusing ANYONE of acting "gay".

After Gay-kin, could you blame them for being homophobic?

I'm not fan of Gore...

But he has managed to offer the best and simplest reframing of the whole terrorism/wiretapping thing yet. The speech that has liberals everywhere nearly pissing themselves with the possibility of another Gore run was probably one of the best addresses given in recent political history, other than, of course, Nagin's New Orleans Salute to Willy Wonka.

Finally, someone who understands and can correctly apply the words and ideas of the founding fathers of this country:

"As John Adams said, "The executive shall never exercise the legislative and judicial powers or either of them to the end that it may be a government of laws and not of men."

An executive who arrogates to himself the power to ignore the legitimate legislative directives of the Congress or to act free of the check of the judiciary becomes the central threat that the founders sought to nullify in the Constitution, an all-powerful executive; too reminiscent of the king from whom they had broken free.

In the words of James Madison, the accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive and judiciary in the same hands, whether of one, a few or many, and whether hereditary, self-appointed or elected, may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny."

Exactly. While it vaugely disturbs me when I agree with someone who's character I fundamentally question, this passage strikes at the very heart of BushCo and uses the framers of our Constitution to do so.

I also appreciate the swipe at Cheney:

"Last week, for example, Vice President Cheney attempted to defend the administration's eavesdropping on American citizens by saying that, if it had conducted this program prior to 9/11, they would have found out the names of some of the hijackers.

Tragically, he apparently still does not know that the administration did, in fact, have the names of at least two of the hijackers well before 9/11 and had available to them information that could have led to the identification of most of the others."

Heh, fuck you, Dick. Fuck you until you bleed Halliburton blood money out of every swollen orifice on your body.

Then, of course, there's the perfect passage:

"Is America really in more danger now than when we faced worldwide fascism on the march, when the last generation had to fight and win two world wars simultaneously?

It is simply an insult to those who came before us and sacrificed so much on our behalf to imply that we have more to be fearful of than they did."

And that, my friends, is the whole emotional enchilada in a nutshell.

The speech is an amazing political soap bubble. It works because it's given by someone who has supposedly relinquished interest in a Presidential career for himself. Should he re-enter the political field, he will have to answer the same questions he poses for BushCo because, at one point in time, he was part of the same corrupt Presidential system.

Hilary may have gained some traction back by her recent suggestion that the House of Representatives should be renamed "Tara". Still, she has a long way to go for the whole Flag Burning nonesense.

And Gore himself, if this indeed is a pseudo-launch to a 2008 run, has a lot of 'splainin to do as well. There seems to me to be something fundamentally shifty and commerial about someone who will breezily abandon his partner of nearly eight years, when they are being tarred and feathered, in the hopes that his upcoming campaign will remain clean. Furthermore, it seems there is something fundamentally stupid about someone who will do this when, despite the tarring and feathering, the people are still in love with the man.

But the man can generate buzz, be he inventing the Interwebs or doing guest shots on my beloved Futurama. And the speech is a gem of sparkling brilliance in what was seemingly a dark and empty mine of political rhetoric.

I am almost forced to admit that, in a field that desperately needs some balance, he may be Gore-bi Wan Kinobe.

He just