OMG, I SOOOOO WANT HER!!!

I had no idea before today that Michelle Malkin was possessed of all the TVQ of a junior high school student.

LIGHTS, CAMERA, MALKIN!

Now, I understand that she's bent out of shape by Jodi Foster's recent...well, pretty much Foster's mere existence is enough to get Michelle's dander up, but her recent Bush Bash commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania's graduation seems to have inspired Michelle to try and go all Saturday Night Live.

Unfortunately, she chose 80s SNL over 70s.

While no one is more surprised than me that Jodi was bashing bush, it truly hurt to see my exotic conservative cupcake all in over her head with her attempts at "humor" and "political satire" and "delivery" and "trying to sound human and natural."

Don't get me wrong. Even with a delivery that's more dead than pan, I'd still lay her down in the tall grass and slip my ballot into her box until she screamed the key points of the Democratic platform in exstacy. I just wouldn't ask her to jazz up my speech for the White House Press Correspondant's Dinner.