Chocolate Covered Ants

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"Bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will, to be rightful, must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal laws must protect, and to violate would be oppression." - Thomas Jefferson, 1st Inaugural address, 1801

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Michelle Malkin makes a run from the border

Okay, I admit it. I have a bit of a crush on Michelle Malkin (as previous posts graphically illustrate). There's just something about a dismissive, hate-spewing, wildly-apologetic Filipina that excites my loins into a furious uproar of tingles. But more than her vaugely anime looks, it's her blatant fence-hopping and utter willingness to hyperventilate about any issue at any time that makes me wanna spelunk in her dank caves.

For instance, today on her blog, she's going on about MS-13, the Mara Salvatrucha street gang, and how this "illegal alien gang" (although, technically, they're not illegal aliens unless they're actually outside of their country, Michelle, but we'll let that pass because yer just soooooo cute) is going to start smuggling thugs across the Mexican border to assassinate border patrol guards. Apparently, they are upset by the increased security along the U.S./Mexico border and this is how they're going to retaliate.

Michelle Malkin freaks out

A number of problems present themselves.

One, finding the actual border patrol guards. While security has supposedly be increased along our country's borders, let us remember that these are the same people who allowed Sean Hannity to break federal law by leaving the U.S. and then returning to the U.S., but not through an official point of entry. It's the law, Sean, and you broke it on national television...or whatever the hell FOX news is. Yet you still waddle around, a free man. So there seems to be a lack of border guards for MS-13 to give El Salvadorian Neckties to in the first place. Now, if they said they wanted to slap the hell out of the Minutemen...well, that's a different story completely.

Two, which is it, Michelle? Your book, Invasion, was 256 pages of yammering about how, despite BushCo's programs after 9/11, our nation's borders still bear a closer resemblence to Swiss cheese than the Great Wall of China. So are the "illegal alien gangs" wrong about the increase in border security or were you wrong about the lack of it? Now, Michelle, I know you like to play both sides of the field, but I was hoping that just meant I could get a three way with you and Ann Coulter while Arianna Huffington looks on and sings Anita Bryant songs at gunpoint.

Three, in your book In Defence of Internment (Great read, by the way, right up there with Mein Kampf), you babble on about how the WWII internment camps were really just happy, sunshiney places, sort of like spas, and how racial profiling is a good thing. Well, Michelle, because of racial profiling everyone knows that pretty much everyone from Central and South America are dirty, lazy and stupid, so they couldn't possibly be smart enough to smuggle thugs across the U.S. borders, could they? I also hear, again from racial profiling, that first-generation Filipinas are hellcats between the sheets. Is it true?!?

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